What Hurts The Most
by esmtz
Summary: Rascal Flatts. Ever since Cartman went missing, Kyle has been obssessed trying to find him and years later he finally realizes that Cartman might be gone for good especially after hearing what Butters had to tell him. Death fic onesided KxC Discontinued
1. Cartman's Tombstone

What Hurts The Most

By: esmtz

Kyle had been standing in the rain for what seemed like hours. He was at a grave sight and was looking down at a specific tombstone with tears in his eyes.

"You fucking asshole…it's already been 5 years and we still can't find you….I can't find you…" Kyle swallowed trying to keep himself from breaking down; his whole body was shaking and shivering from the cold.

Kyle continued to look at the tombstone and he suddenly felt angry.

"God, Cartman…" Kyle said quietly as the tears fell from his face, "Why do you make me feel this way you fucking fatass?!"

There was nothing but the noise of the rain. Kyle started to cry as he fell to his knees and put his head in his hands.

"What hurts the most, Cartman, is that I don't even know what happened to you…" Kyle sobbed as he looked back at Cartman's tomb, "How am I supposed to know if you're still alive or not?"

Unbeknownst to Kyle, Butters had seen that Kyle had gone to visit Cartman's grave and had followed him. He was hiding behind a tree so that Kyle didn't notice him. Butters was looking really nervous as he watched Kyle.

"Aw hamburgers how am I supposed to tell Kyle the truth?" Butters asked quietly to himself.

Flashback:

"Butters, get your coat. We gotta go." Cartman told him wearing clothes that looked like he was going mountain climbing.

"Go where?" Butters asked confused.

"You're going to help me freeze myself."

"Ok." Butters said before he went to get his coat.

Flashback End:

Butters took a deep breath and hesitantly went towards Kyle.

"Hey there, Kyle. What are you doing out here in the rain? You could catch a cold." Butters said.

Kyle jumped slightly completely surprised to find that someone else was there with him. Kyle quickly wiped away the tears on his face (not that it mattered with the rain) and looked up at Butters.

"Oh hey, Butters, when did you get here?" Kyle asked.

"A few minutes ago…" Butters lied still looking nervous, "how long do you plan on being out here?"

Kyle sighed as he stood up and looked at Butters.

"I was actually going to leave now…" Kyle said, "I'm kinda surprised you're here, Butters."

"Well…Eric is my friend too…so I wanted to pay him a visit." Butters said trying hard to not make it sound like Cartman was dead.

About a month after Cartman disappeared, his mother decided to put up a tombstone for him (even though they never found his body) and then left town. Butters had never told anyone about what really happened to Cartman and wasn't planning on telling anyone especially after seeing Kyle, of all the kids Cartman hung out with, freak out the moment that the news had gotten to him. They were 14 now and Butters still felt guilty about Cartman and was feeling really hesitant about if he should tell Kyle or not.

'They might as well accuse me of killing him in the first place…' Butters thought to himself.

"You ok?" Kyle asked.

Butters jumped slightly startled.

"Sorry, Kyle. I was just thinking about something."

"What's that?"

"Uh…"

Suddenly they heard a voice calling out to them.

"There he is! Kyle, what are you doing out here? I've been calling your house, but no one was answering." Stan frowned as he and Kenny walked up to him and Butters.

Kyle sighed.

"Sorry, dude. My parents are out of town right now and I have to look after Ike, but he's asleep so I just came to visit…" Kyle looked back at the tombstone.

"Don't worry about it. Kenny and I were just wondering if you wanted to come and hang out with us at my place since it's really raining out here." Stan said looking at his friend worried.

Kyle didn't say anything for a few seconds. He turned to look at Stan and nodded.

"Yeah…ok…"

Butters watched as Stan, Kyle, and Kenny left and then he too went back home not even wanting to look at the tombstone. He knew that Kyle had been searching everywhere for Cartman, dragging Stan and Kenny everywhere he went even if it was out of town.

"Butters, is that you? Get upstairs now mister! You are grounded for a week for not taking your coat with you or even asking your mother or I if you could even go outside!" Butter's dad yelled at him.

"Yes, sir." Butters went to his room, closed the door, and went to lie on his bed knowing that he wasn't going to get any sleep at all tonight.

Author's note: Ok this story is gonna be a one sided KylexCartman and its gonna be a death fic. I'll try to keep it going as long as I can, but I already know that it's going to be short. I'm just hoping this one will last more than 5 chapters. I want to thank you all who voted on my new story. This one got 4 out of 9 votes, The Stan wanting to kill Cartman got three and the last two only got 1. I'm hoping to put in some more flashbacks in this story. I'll update soon. I also hope this story is as good as when I first came up with the idea or better. Also this story was inspired from watching the go god go episodes in season 10.


	2. Hurting

What Hurts The Most

By: esmtz

As soon as their first few classes were over the next day Stan, Kyle, and Kenny went over to the cafeteria to have lunch. As soon as they got their food they went over to sit with Craig and Tweek.

"Kyle, I'm serious dude you really need to get your mind off of Cartman. I'm sure he's fine wherever he is. He probably just ran away and decided to never come back here." Stan said as he took a seat.

"Dude, why on earth are you still looking for that fucking asshole?" Craig asked as soon as Kyle sat down, "He's probably dead already. Serves him right. I mean no one here liked him anyway."

Kyle glared at him and then sighed.

"I don't know, Stan. Maybe…"

"Gah that's too much pressure!" Tweek said.

"Yeah tell me about it…" Kenny sighed as he started to eat and watched as a small group of girls passed by him.

Kyle rolled his eyes and started eating not really interested in talking to Craig or Tweek. Stan and Kenny weren't of much help themselves either with Stan at least trying to make him feel better and Kenny just plain getting annoyed with the fact that Kyle wouldn't talk about anything other than Cartman. Kyle's mind started to drift off as he started to remember the exact moment when he was told that Cartman was missing.

Flashback:

Kyle was sitting in the living room watching a Terrance and Phillip episode when his mother called out to him.

"Bubbe, your friend Stan wants to speak with you. He says it's very important and he sounded a little nervous." Sheila said holding the phone up.

Kyle looked up at her and frowned slightly. He got up and went over to her and took the phone and placed the receiver against his ear.

"Hey, Stan what's up?"

"Dude, you are not going to believe what I'm about to tell you…"

Kyle frowned even more as he heard his best friend's voice shaking a little.

"What is it? Did Cartman finally find out who his real mother is?" Kyle laughed a little trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, no…not exactly."

Stan sounded very serious.

"Dude, what's going on?" Kyle asked starting to get really worried.

"It's about Cartman…"

Flashback end:

"Hey, Kyle, are you alright? You've been staring and playing with your food."

Kyle blinked and turned to look at Stan who was looking at him worried.

"Yeah sorry my mind just sort of dozed off…"

"That's a surprise, Kyle. I thought you were the one that paid attention to everything." Craig said frowning slightly.

"I guess I'm just tired that's all…" Kyle told him.

"Dude, you've been acting like this for awhile now why?" Craig asked.

"Craig, drop it alright?" Stan told him seeing that Kyle wasn't going to tell him.

A few minutes passed by before Kyle got up.

"Dude, where are you going?" Stan asked, "We still have time before our next class starts."

"I'm not really hungry, Stan. I'll see you guys in class ok?" Kyle told him as he threw away the rest of his food and headed straight towards his next class.

Kyle knew that he was early, (15 minutes early) but he wanted time to himself before anyone else decided to show up and he knew that no one was going to come to the classroom until it started. Kyle sat down behind his desk and laid his head on his right arm on the desk.

Flashback Continue:

Kyle felt his heart skip a beat.

"What about Cartman, Stan?" Kyle's voice went almost quiet, but loud enough for Stan to hear him.

There was a moment of silence.

"Stan?" Kyle asked wondering if he was still there.

"Meet me at Cartman's house. I already called Kenny so just get there." Stan said and hung up before Kyle could ask why.

Kyle hung up the phone and quickly ran to the door,

"Mom I'll be back in a few minutes. Stan wants me to meet him at Cartman's house."

"Okay, Bubbe. Make sure and call me if you guys end up making plans." Sheila told him.

Kyle rushed out of the house and ran straight towards Cartman's. His eyes went wide when he saw a bunch of police cars outside the house and an officer talking to Ms. Cartman. Kyle noticed that Stan and Kenny were already there and he went towards them.

"What's going on?" Kyle asked.

"Cartman's missing, Kyle." Stan told him.

There was an awkward silence before Kyle finally spoke.

"W-What?!" Kyle said completely shocked.

Flashback end:

Kyle heard the door open and looked up to see that Butters was walking towards him and took a seat next to him.

"Hey, Kyle. I figured you were here. How are you doing?" Butters asked.

Kyle took a deep breath before sitting up and looking at Butters.

"Not so good, Butters."

Butters looked at him sadly. Kyle was quiet for a few minutes as he looked down toward the ground.

"I didn't want it to end like that…" Kyle whispered.

"What did you say, Kyle?" Butters asked.

Kyle swallowed before looking at Butters; his eyes looking like they were on the verge of tears.

"He always thought I hated him…I didn't really….I just…." Kyle bit his lip.

Butters started feeling even guiltier as he saw a tear fall down Kyle's face.

"Just what?" Butters asked.

Kyle shook his head refusing to look at Butters.

"Nothing…it's just maybe if I told him how I really felt he might still be here today…I don't know….I just hope that wherever he's at he's ok. That's all that is keeping me going, Butters. To think that he might still be out there somewhere…"

Butters watched as Kyle reached into his backpack and pulled out Clyde Frog. Before Liane left town she let the boys take whatever of Cartman's things that they wanted and Kyle wanted Clyde Frog since it was Cartman's favorite stuffed animal.

"He's out there somewhere…he's just gotta be…maybe if I looked harder…" Kyle said to himself as he held Clyde Frog close to him.

Butters looked away.

'I can't tell him about Eric. It would break his heart, but if I don't tell him he's going to keep thinking that he's still alive' Butters thought to himself as he looked back at Kyle 'He deserves to know the truth. I have to tell him.'

"Uh, Kyle? I need to tell you something…" Butters said, but Kyle didn't hear him since the bell rang and people were already starting to come into the classroom.

Kyle quickly put Clyde Frog away and got out his books.

'Aw hamburgers…' Butters thought feeling relieved and even more nervous.

Author's note: If you guys don't know the song "What hurts the most" by rascal flatts it's a really good and extremely sad song which is what my story is inspired from. I've been listening to more sad songs to help me make the story seem like Kyle is depressed or is falling into depression either one. Let me know if you have any ideas of what you would like to see in my story and I'll see what I can do about it, but it's NOT going to be a happy ending. Sorry about that.


	3. Guilty and Afraid

What Hurts The Most

By: esmtz

"Hey, Kyle. The guys and I were thinking about going to go hang out at the new arcade they just opened up in town. Do you want to come with us?" Stan asked as the bell rang signaling the end of their last class of the day.

Kyle put his books away in his backpack and looked at Stan trying to come up with a reason not to go.

"I can't today, Stan. I have a lot of chores that need to get done before my parents get back home." Kyle told him.

"Dude, don't lie. We already know what the real reason is." Kenny said.

Stan sighed.

"Kenny could you be any more insensitive?"

"Dude, this has been going on for years now! Honestly I think Kyle should just accept the fact that he's gone and isn't coming back."

Butters eyes went wide as he saw Kyle tighten his right fist and was ready to hit Kenny, but was beat by Stan who got to him first and punched him in the face making Kenny fall to the floor.

"Stan, what the hell was that for?!" Kenny asked rubbing his cheek.

"I liked you better when we were younger, Kenny," Stan said and looked back at Kyle, "I'll call you later then."

Kyle looked at him in surprise and nodded.

"Yeah ok."

Kyle watched as Stan left with Craig, Token, and Clyde. Both he and Butters watched as Kenny got off the floor and left.

"Well, uh I didn't know that Kenny acted like that." Butters said as he got up and went over to Kyle.

Kyle sighed, grabbing his backpack and made his way out the door and out of the school; Butters following him.

"Did he always act like that?" Butters asked.

"Only a year after Cartman disappeared." Kyle said.

"Oh."

Kyle made a sudden stop and Butters turned back to look at him.

"What is it, Kyle?"

"If you knew anything about where Cartman could be would you tell me, Butters?" Kyle asked looking at him sadly.

Butters froze unable to say anything for a few seconds, but quickly recovered.

"Well of course I would since he was sort of your friend too, why?" Butters asked.

"I just have a bad feeling…."

"What kind of bad feeling?"

"I know that Stan and my family have been telling me that everything is going to be ok, but I can't help but feel that something is wrong. Like Cartman might not have run away…" Kyle said.

Butters started getting nervous again.

'Aw hamburgers I should have remembered that Kyle is smart and would easily figure this out. I wonder if he even remembers the last time he was with Eric' Butters thought worriedly.

When Cartman came over to his house to ask for his help, there was no doubt in Butters mind that Cartman had already asked Stan and the others for help, but they had said no. The moment Butter's mom, along with two police men, asked him if he had seen Eric anywhere 5 years ago, Butters had immediately felt himself freeze up and quickly told them that he hadn't seen him. As soon as they had left, Butters (Professor Chaos) turned to his partner General Disarray and had asked him if anything bad would happen if someone froze themselves for a few weeks. He hadn't expected to hear that Cartman would die and that immediately threw Butters in a panic and went to go look for him.

Flashback:

"ERIC! ERIC!" Butters screamed as he looked all over the snowy mountain.

"You just left him here? Without a jacket or anything?!" General Disarray yelled in surprise and shock.

"He told me to!" Butters told him.

"He's dead for sure."

Butters then had realized that the environment around him was totally different now then it was a few days ago. He started to panic more as he randomly started digging; trying to find Cartman and dig him out before it was too late.

"B-B-Butters we have to get out of here!" General Disarray said panic in his voice as he pulled Butters away from trying to dig.

"WHAT?!" Butters yelled.

"No one is ever going to find his body. We've got to never say anything about this you understand?! He's dead and if they know that you had a hand in this you'll go to jail!"

Butters knew that he was right and he quickly got up and followed his partner away from the mountain.

Flashback end:

'I can't keep this secret forever! It's going to leak out eventually…' Butters bit his lip.

"Butters are you sure you don't know anything?" Kyle asked looking at him.

"Uh yeah I'm sure."

"Well, ok then."

Kyle walked past Butters and headed towards his house.

'I'm going to heck I tell yeah. HECK!' Butters told himself as he also started making his way home.

Not only was Butters suffering during the day trying to hide the fact that in his mind he 'killed' Cartman, but at night times he was suffering from major nightmares about either Cartman coming back for revenge or Kyle figuring it out and was out to Kill Butters and the dreams always ended with him close to being killed before he'd wake up and scream. He couldn't tell his parents about his nightmares so he was almost always grounded until recently when his parents decided to get ear plugs so that they wouldn't have to wake up to the sound of their son's scream.

"I can't keep this up anymore. If I hold it in any longer this guilt is going to kill me. If I tell anyone they're going to kill me. What am I supposed to do? I don't want to die or go to Jail!" Butters said as he started to feel himself having a panic attack.

Butters took deep breaths to try and calm himself down.

"Lu lu lu, I've got some apples, Lu lu lu, you've got some too…"

Butters sighed with relief as soon as he reached the front door to his house and was about to open it when he heard footsteps behind him. Butters automatically screamed as he yanked open the door and closed it behind him locking the door. He went to the closest window and peaked outside to only find that it was Stan looking at him weird. He watched as Stan walked up to his house and knocked on the door. Butters went back to the door and opened it.

"Dude, what the hell was that all about?" Stan asked.

"Uh sorry, Stan. I didn't mean to scream like that. I've just had a lot on my mind that's all…would you like to come in?" Butters asked shaking.

Stan raised an eyebrow wondering why Butters was acting like this as he walked in the house and closed the door behind him.

"I was on my way to meet up with the guys at the new arcade when I saw that you looked like you were really uncomfortable about something. You want to talk about it?"

"I've been having nightmares that's all…"

"Butters, what kind of nightmares have you been having to be afraid of me walking up behind you?" Stan asked.

"Uh…"

"Butters, are you trying to hide something? I've noticed every time fatass's name is mentioned you get nervous and it's not just recently. I've seen how you've acted since Cartman's disappearance 5 years ago."

"N-No I'm not hiding anything!" Butters stuttered.

Stan went closer to him forcing Butters to back away until his back met the wall.

"Butters, I know you know something. Kyle doesn't because he's been too preoccupied with Cartman's disappearance to even notice that what he's looking for is right in front of his face," Stan said, "I'll admit I had doubts that you would know what happened to Cartman, but now I'm pretty sure you do know otherwise you wouldn't be trying to hide something that wasn't important."

Tears started to fall from Butters face as he tried to back up further into the wall. Stan's face softened and backed away from him.

"Please, Butters. Kyle is killing himself trying to find out what happened to Cartman and to be honest it's killing me to see my best friend suffer like this. I'm begging you here tell me the truth."

Butters didn't say anything for a few minutes. Stan sighed and was about to leave when Butters finally said something.

"Please don't tell Kyle…he's not going to like this…"

Stan turned back to look at him as Butters stood up and went up to his room; Stan following behind him.

Author's note: Even though Stan is going to know in the next chapter, Kyle is still not going to know because Stan isn't going to tell him at least not right now. He's sure as hell not going to tell Kenny…so it'll be between him and Butters. As always I'll update again soon. I hope you guys like this story so far. I'd rather not continue it if you guys didn't.


	4. Stan And Kenny Know

What Hurts The Most

By: esmtz

As soon as the boys went into Butters bedroom, Butters closed and locked the door and then went to sit on his bed. Stan stood in front of the door unsure If he should stay standing or to sit next to Butters.

"You might want to sit down, Stan." Butters told him.

Stan hesitantly sat down next to Butters as he looked at him expectantly. It was quiet for a few minutes before Butters sighed and started to tell Stan what happened to Cartman. He reluctantly admitted (after Stan finally convinced Butters to tell him which took about 10 minutes) that he was the reason that Cartman was dead. Stan's eyes went wide; completely shocked at what he had just heard.

"…I went back to look for him, but the environment was different and I had no idea where I had left Eric." Butters swallowed looking down at the floor.

Stan was silent for a few seconds as he stared at the wall in front of him.

"Are you sure he's….gone, Butters?" Stan asked quietly as he tried to keep himself from throwing up.

Butters didn't answer, but stood up and headed toward the door. Stan turned his head to see what Butters was doing.

"I can take you there….to where he's…" Butters went quiet unable to finish what he was saying.

Stan stood up and went towards him and laid a hand on his shoulder. Butters looked at him and watched as Stan nodded.

"Let's go." Stan said.

It took about half an hour to get to where Cartman was last seen. Butters stood and looked around at the empty area where there was nothing but snow all around them.

"Well I can understand why you couldn't find him, Butters." Stan said looking up at the mountain, "I wouldn't be a bit surprised if the snow ended up falling on Cartman and buried him. What a dumbass."

Stan turned to look at Butters who had been quiet since they left the house.

"Dude, it wasn't your fault."

"Yes it is. I left him alone out here to freeze to death!" Butters replied.

"That fucking fatass wanted to do it for his own selfish reasons, Butters, despite the fact that Kyle, Kenny and I had told him before that it wasn't a good idea." Stan sighed shaking his head wondering why Kyle even cared about him at all.

"I still helped to kill him! I'm a murderer!" Butters said starting to freak out again.

Stan sighed.

"Thanks, Butters, at least now I know the truth about Cartman." Stan said.

"Oh Jesus I'm gonna have to tell everyone else about this now, especially Kyle!" Butters said quietly.

Stan frowned and looked at Butters.

"I thought you said that you didn't want to."

"I'll be in even bigger trouble if I don't! Besides I know now that I'm not good at keeping secrets especially since I was already caught by you!" Butters cried.

"Butters calm down…"

"I CAN'T CALM DOWN! I'M ONLY 14 YEARS OLD AND I'M ALREADY GOING TO GO TO JAIL!" Butters wailed and started to cry.

"Dude, please before someone hears us…" Stan said looking around to make sure no one had followed them.

Stan's eyes went wide as he saw someone was running away.

"Butters, if you don't want to go to jail we have to go now!"

Stan started running forcing Butters to quickly follow behind him. The mysterious person hadn't gone too far so they easily caught up with him. As soon as he was near him, Stan quickly jumped and grabbed a hold of him making the two of them fall forward. Stan forced the kid to turn to look at him and was shocked and slightly horrified to see that Kenny had been following them.

"Kenny?! What the fuck are you doing here?!" Stan hissed.

Butters stood there rooted to the spot unable to say or do anything as Stan got off of Kenny and watched as they both stood up. Kenny raised an eyebrow at Butters not even looking at Stan.

"I was wondering where you and Butters were going…seriously though fatass is dead?!" Kenny asked.

Butters started looking really uncomfortable and panicked as Stan quickly pushed Kenny against a tree and held him there.

"I don't know how long you've been eavesdropping on us, but I know that it's not a good thing that you know about Cartman."

"Why the hell not, Stan? Now that we know we can stop searching for him. I can't wait to tell Kyle…this has been a real pain since Cartman disappeared." Kenny replied.

Stan grew angrier as he started to lift Kenny.

"You are not going to tell Kyle do you understand or so help me I will fucking kick your ass!" Stan growled.

Kenny rolled his eyes as Stan let him go.

"You guys do realize that if we don't tell him and he finds out he's going to be mad that we didn't tell him." Kenny said.

"Dude, no one else knows except us right, Butters?" Stan asked.

"…yeah." Butters said.

"Ok then so that means that no one here is allowed to tell anyone else about this right, Kenny?" Stan raised an eyebrow.

Kenny sighed.

"Whatever. I'm going home now."

Kenny started walking away and Stan immediately looked at Butters.

"You're going to have to tell Kyle now, Butters. If you don't I have a feeling Kenny will and everyone will find out about it. I'm starting to think that it might be inevitable that you have to tell everyone so that whoever is looking for Cartman can stop."

Butters was quiet as he watched Stan leave knowing that he was right and that he would be better off telling them sooner rather than later.

Author's note: Since I haven't been getting a lot of (good) reviews for this story…I probably won't update for quite some time or I might discontinue it. Reviews always helped to inspire me in making the next chapter and well…I'm not really feeling inspired right now. The people who normally reviewed my stories I'm guessing are very busy and haven't been on to read and review. I'll still try to finish this story, but I can't guarantee that I will this time and if you don't like this story or pairing then I have a suggestion for you. How about don't read or review my story that would be great.


	5. Late For School

What Hurts The Most

By: esmtz

"Bubbe it's time to get up to get ready for school!" Sheila said knocking on the door to her son's bedroom.

Kyle groaned as he forced himself to get out of bed; still exhausted from not getting enough sleep lately. He went to the bathroom and quickly got dressed and washed up. As soon as he was done he made his way down to the kitchen to make himself cereal.

"Alright, Kyle, your father and I are leaving for work and your brother Ike already left for school so be sure to lock up before you leave." Sheila said as she and Gerald headed toward the door.

"Bye, Kyle. Have fun at school." Gerald said closing the door behind him.

Kyle sighed as he sat down at the table and started eating his cereal; rubbing his eyes tiredly. After a few minutes there was a knock on the door and Kyle went to answer it.

"Dude, are you ready yet or am I going to have to wait again until you're ready to go?" Stan asked as he went inside the house and put his backpack on the couch.

"What time is it?" Kyle asked.

Stan took out his cell phone and looked at the time.

"It's 8:15, Kyle." Stan replied looking at him with a frown on his face.

Kyle groaned shaking his head as he headed back toward the kitchen to put his empty bowl in the sink and then started to head towards his room.

"I'm really sorry about this, Stan. I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately with all the studying I've been having to do and…you know…" Kyle said.

Stan followed him trying to not feel or look guilty that he was hiding something really important from his best friend.

"It's cool, dude," Stan said, "So your parents still don't know?"

Kyle was silent for a few seconds as he put his homework in his backpack.

"About the fact that I'm no longer the top of all of my classes? No and I don't plan on telling them. Remember how they reacted last time when they saw that my grades in class were dropping? They freaked out and I ended up staying at your place for awhile." Kyle said as he closed his backpack and picked it up and swung it over his shoulders.

Stan remembered that it happened sometime after Cartman disappeared and for the first time he saw that his best friend, who was always the best in the class and school, was having trouble with both his homework and class work. He was astounded to discover that Kyle's grades had suffered to the point where he had no A's, one B, and the rest were C's and one D. Stan winced remembering exactly what happened when Kyle and his parents left the office.

Flashback:

"KYLE! HOW COULD YOU LET YOUR GRADES SUFFER LIKE THIS?!" Sheila shrieked causing everyone to look out of their classrooms to see what was going on.

Kyle winced as she looked down at him with shock and anger.

"Now, Sheila, let's calm down. You're starting to make a scene," Gerald said, "let's discuss this back at the house."

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN, GERALD!" Sheila screamed at her husband causing him to back away.

"Mom, please. You don't understand…It's just…Car…" Kyle was saying before his mother exploded.

"THERE'S NO EXCUSE FOR THIS YOUNG MAN! YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BRING HOME ONLY A'S AND NOTHING ELSE!"

Stan watched in horror from inside the classroom as Sheila slapped her son across his face.

"Mrs. Broflovski! That is inappropriate behavior! I'm ordering you and your husband to leave the premises immediately before I call the cops!" Principal Victoria said angrily as she stepped out of the office and glared at her dangerously.

Tears started to fall down Kyle's face as a red hand mark was left on his right cheek. Stan left the classroom and walked up to his friend and watched as Kyle's parents left, Sheila still fuming with anger.

"Come on, Kyle. You can stay at my place for awhile." Stan told him placing a hand on his shoulder.

Flashback End:

"Stan, you ok? You look like you zoned out there for a minute."

Stan blinked and saw that Kyle was looking at him with concern on his face. Stan smiled slightly.

"It's nothing. I was just thinking about something."

Kyle frowned wanting to ask about what, but knew that they were already going to be late for class as it was.

"Well, come on, dude. We better start heading to the school before we end up really late." Kyle said as he made his way downstairs; Stan following behind him.

Once Kyle locked up and both boys left the house they immediately headed in the direction of the school. Kyle stopped walking and was looking across the street at Cartman's old house. Stan also stopped and looked from Kyle to the house and then back to Kyle with a sad look on his face.

"You know no one's ever lived there since Cartman's mom moved." Kyle said not taking his eyes off the house.

Stan didn't say anything as he looked back at the house. It was quiet between the two of them for a few minutes.

"You should get to school, Stan," Kyle said making Stan look at him, "I just…I just need some time alone…"

"Kyle, can you promise me something?" Stan asked.

"What, Stan?" Kyle asked looking back at him.

"Promise me that you won't kill yourself over the fact that Cartman isn't here anymore…" Stan said not able to stop himself from feeling guilty.

Kyle was silent for a minute before nodding. Stan felt slightly relieved.

"Ok then I'll see you later in class." Stan said as he walked off.

Kyle went back to look at Cartman's house.

"I'm sorry, Stan, but I died along time ago…" Kyle said softly to himself as the tears started to fall down his face.

Kyle walked up to Cartman's house and peered inside and saw that there was nothing in there but dust and cobwebs. After a few minutes he slowly fell to his knees and started to cry as he started to think that Cartman might really be gone for good.

"I'm sorry, Eric…." Kyle sobbed, "Please…don't….come back…"

Stan stood out of sight, but still able to see what Kyle was doing. He felt his heart break as he watched Kyle suffer and didn't notice as a tear fell down his face.

'I'm losing him…Goddammit, fatass. Look what you've done!' Stan thought clenching his fists tightly as he continued to watch unable to help Kyle, 'Is this what I want? To have Kyle keep living like this?'

It was at that very moment when Stan finally realized why Kyle was acting the way he was for the past 5 years. Kyle loved Eric Cartman.

Author's note: I want to thank all those who reviewed and told me to not discontinue this story. Still I am very sorry that I'm probably not going to be able to update a lot because I've been very busy so if at all the most I can do is update once a week mostly. I really need to learn to start working on my chapters earlier since I usually do it at night before I go to bed because they always end up taking a couple of hours to finish. I hope you all liked this chapter I'll try to update again this weekend.


	6. Finding Out

What Hurts The Most

By: esmtz

It was now already at the end of the school day and Kyle still never showed up for his classes. Stan started putting his books away and then started writing down the homework assignment. As he was about to leave, Wendy went up to him and smiled.

"Hi, Stan. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me this weekend." Wendy asked kissing him on the cheek.

Stan turned red and nodded. It took awhile, but Stan finally managed to stop himself from vomiting every time he was around or with his girlfriend, Wendy.

"Sure, Wendy. What did you want to do?" Stan asked.

"Well if you're not doing anything Saturday…I was hoping if you wanted to go see the new Harry Potter movie with me." Wendy said blushing slightly hoping that during the movie she would get her long awaited kiss from Stan.

"I don't have anything to do. I'll find out when the movie starts and then I'll call you about the times."

"Great! I am so glad that we have a new theatre here in town! It's so much better then the one we used to have," Wendy said, "I'll see you later, Stan!"

Wendy left with her group of friends who were giggling including her. Kenny walked up to Stan who had been watching quietly behind him.

"Well, you're going to have to kiss her now, dude." Kenny said.

Stan turned a bright red and turned to look at Kenny.

"What are you talking about, Kenny?!" Stan asked.

"Well, I heard that the new Harry Potter movie had a very special scene in it with Harry and Ginny." Kenny smirked already thinking about going at the same time that Stan and Wendy go just to see what happens.

Stan sighed shaking his head as he left the classroom with Kenny.

"Dude, can't you think about anything else?" Stan asked already knowing the answer.

"What else is there to think about? You just don't know what you're missing." Kenny replied.

Stan rolled his eyes.

'Typical Kenny' Stan thought.

"I noticed that Kyle wasn't here at all today. Is he skipping again or what?" Kenny asked.

Stan growled slightly as he looked at Kenny.

"Keep your voice down, Kenny. What do you think?!" Stan whispered.

"Well, he's just lucky that lately most of our teachers haven't exactly been paying much attention to who's in class."

It was true. Every time that a teacher took attendance they all seemed like they didn't care and they never looked up when they called out a name to see if they were even there.

"You know if Cartman was still here there would be a hell of a lot more excitement than this. I even miss how he and Kyle would always argue and fight with each other at least then things around here wouldn't be so boring." Kenny sighed as they walked out the front doors of the school.

"Fellas! Hey, fellas wait up!"

Stan and Kenny turned and saw that Butters was running to catch up with them.

"W-Where's Kyle?!" Butters asked, "He didn't show up today! Did you guys tell him about Eric?!"

Stan sighed.

"Ok, Butters, first not so loud and man are you paranoid or what. No we didn't tell Kyle. He was sick today so that's why he didn't show up ok?" Stan told him.

"Oh, ok." Butters sighed with relief.

"Butters, you really need to calm down, dude." Stan said.

"Stan, look who you're talking to. Butters doesn't know how to calm down let alone be brave enough to admit to Kyle himself the truth about Cartman."

There was a noise next to the boys making them turn to see what it was since they were still standing in front of the entrance to the school.

"W-What was that?!" Butters shrieked.

"I don't know, but whatever it was it's gone now." Stan said still looking around.

"You know, Butters, you wouldn't be having this problem right now if you would just openly admit that you killed Cartman! Besides if you did a lot of people would definitely consider you their hero." Kenny said.

Stan turned back and glared at Kenny.

"Goddammit, Kenny! Someone will here you! We're not exactly in the most private of places to discuss this!" Stan hissed.

"Oh Jesus what if someone did here us!" Butters exclaimed.

"Well then you won't have to worry about telling everyone!"

"Kenny, just shut the fuck up. You're not helping in any way. Let's just head on home before someone decides to ask why we're still standing here." Stan said.

"Ok fine I'll see you guys later." Kenny said as he walked off.

"I'm really sorry about that, Butters." Stan sighed shaking his head.

Butters was quiet for a few minutes.

"I have to tell them." Butters said all of a sudden looking down at the ground.

Stan didn't say anything. He just looked at Butters sadly.

"What do I do, Stan?" Butters asked looking up at him as his eyes started to swell up with tears.

"I know this is hard, Butters, but…" Stan swallowed, "everyone deserves to know the truth…especially Kyle."

Butters slowly nodded and then went back to look at the ground; tears falling from his face.

"I'll tell my parents first and then Kyle….I'll turn myself in after that." Butters said.

There was a soft whimpering sound coming from the same area that they had heard the noise. Stan and Butters followed the sound from the side of the school to behind it. Both Butters and Stan's eyes went wide as they saw that Kyle was sitting down with his back against the wall with his head in his hands crying.

Author's note: sorry on how late this chapter is. I was supposed to have it done on Saturday, but I didn't do it because I couldn't log on to my account. I'm so glad this story is almost over though. I was getting extremely lazy not wanting to continue it, but I finally managed to force myself to write this chapter. I guess this story was kinda a let down to me only because I didn't receive a lot of reviews like I did before on my other two stories (probably because of school starting or coming up). The next chapter I make will probably be my last one or if not there will still be a few more, but it's finally coming to an end. I will let you all know when to vote on my next story once I post up a new poll on my account (hopefully it will be better). Also on my last chapter where Kyle said 'Please…don't…come back…' I meant for him to mean it like please don't be dead and that he wants him to come back but he just couldn't say it. Sorry I should have worded that differently.


End file.
